Friendship and censorship

‘You’re my best foreign friend’, was his reaction when
I bad farewell to one of my closest companions in Shanghai. I wondered how many
foreigners would actually have taken the time and effort to jump the hurdle of
Michael’s language barrier. The fact that we had drunk tea every now and then
had certainly done our relationship good. I had found a way to understand
Michael’s Chinglish and he had displayed genuine interest in a world outside
China he would probably never see. During our conversations I had taught
Michael some English: “this milk tea is hor-ren-dous”. So Michael considered us
friends.

While preparing my solo I would occasionally hit my
emotional ceiling. The slightest errands can be quite a challenge in China.
Agreements are brushed off like dandruff from a shoulder pad and as the Chinese
dislike saying ‘no’, the common reply in every nerve wrecking situation is
‘maybe’, ‘tomorrow’, ‘maybe tomorrow’ or ‘not today because the president is
visiting and the road is closed off’. I had learned however never to show my
nervous crackdown, yet calmly go for tea with one of my Chinese friends, like
Michael. During our conversation I would subtly touch the surface of my problem,
‘transporting one’s artwork can be quite a challenge’, before digressing into
the lovely dumplings I had for breakfast or the blue silk scarf I had bought for
my mother the other day. Michael however had picked up my indication of
desperation and responded immediately by showing up in my studio two hours
later with a Chinese transporter. Haggling about the price was something I had
to do myself however: ‘it is better not to let money interfere in our
friendship’. The Chinese transporter looked sullen and not too keen to lower
his price for any rich looking foreign artist. Being Michael’s friend however was
my best bet for discount. Google Translate did the rest.

This circumspect way of working drives people to madness, even the Chinese.
The simplest errands take ages but it is the only way for the Chinese to keep face.
For direct questions may lead to a negative response and all the creativity required to
disguise it. Personal and business relations further intertwine as the relationship grows.
The positive side effect is that the discount increases accordingly.
Dining with clients should end in a bacchanal with employees slashed to bits.
The idea behind this often embarrassing spectacle: a drunk Chinese shows his real face.
And a bad talent for singing, as I have witnessed several times.

The importance of keeping face in personal relations
was illustrated by my tour guide when I visited the great wall, just outside
Beijing. Miraculously one of my travel companions managed to disappear on the
wall, taking the wrong elevator down. Trying to be funny, I asked my tour guide
if he would be angry with the missing guy once we found him. My tour guide
answered, ‘I am not allowed to be angry’. We were allowed to visit two state
workshops however. Twenty guys paying the obligatory visit to a jade factory.
When the tour guide drove us to the second unexpected enamel outlet, the bus
revolted. There was no escape from the enamel outlet however: the visits were
state’s imperative. The guide admitted we would have to stay inside for exactly
45 minutes. Obviously China wanted to demonstrate its marvel in terms of jade
and enamel, but for twenty western men it was just not what they had had in
mind when booking the day trip tour.

One thing the Chinese are not indirect about is relationships.
Luckily I was able to avoid the eligible women introduced in
every conversation by my Chinese female friends. My Dutch friend however was
not so lucky. In an interview he held with a female Chinese artist the
interpreter at one point stopped translating. It turned out that the Chinese
artist had turned the subject around towards my friends marital status and
whether he was interested in dating her. The interpreter was too embarrassed to
continue and split the scene, leaving my friend with an unfinished interview
for the art magazine and a Chinese artist desperately waiting for an answer.

I will miss my new friends however. Language nor cultural barriers did
prevent us from having a good time together and sharing thoughts, ideas and
laughter. It is a shame however they will not be able to read this since my blog
has been blocked since the last three weeks. Does that mean that I have been censored too?

In order to respect their privacy the names of the persons mentioned in my
blog have been altered.

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